I woke up this morning and I thought about all the different ways I don’t feel good enough for people. … More
A mother told me, if someone murdered her child, she would want to set fire to the world.And yet, it’s … More
In college, I was planning to be a writer. And I was planning to be a photographer. Unfortunately, my first … More
I wantThe wisdom of now The energy from beforeThe carefree of that one dayThe calm breath of a moonlight swimThe … More
I’m going to obsess over my face for a minute, (so please forgive me if you’re a jealous ninny who … More
I don’t know if you’ve heard but … I’m a big boy.
Here are two funny reactions I’ve heard after publishing my first short film.“Are you planning on making a whole movie?”“Are … More
I’m allergic to nostalgia. So I won’t blather on about how I miss my doggy, Serena, and I won’t self-indulge … More
My mom sang this song to me when I felt down. Somehow, it helped. I don’t know if it would help you to hear it. But it helps me to sing it.
I was going to write a charming and quirky think piece about how everyone is jacking off every minute of the day, because we are living during the world’s first masturbation revolution, and during a quarantine no less, but then I realized this graphic tells the whole story which you and me and your friends and your family and your coworkers and your boss and Jeff Bezos already know. Which is the world is going thwackety-thwack-thack to cum the pain away, to paraphrase The Teaches of Peaches. Which. You know. There are worse ways to live your life than focusing on orgasms. Well. Maybe there aren’t any other better ways to live your life.
And thus climaxes this most obvious public service announcement.
I think we are all painfully aware now that we are stuck in the mortifying hellscape known as international house … More
So I was at the store, looking at the craziest cake frostings in the world. They were shiny pink and … More
Remember how Prince called himself The Artist?A lot of us here on Earth are artists. He was just bold enough … More