Am I depressed or am I just happy lounging in bed? You’ll be the judge. 41-second quiz.

I am in bed and there is nothing you can do about it

Will You Be My Valentine?

And from then on, I always kind of felt like Valentine’s Day was a day to get really terrible little heart candies made from the worst sugar confections you could possibly imagine followed by some little child walking up and telling you that you suck.

The Friendliest People On Earth: Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas (VegasAnonymous photojournalism street photography)

In college, I was planning to be a writer. And I was planning to be a photographer. Unfortunately, my first … More

You are all doing this constantly, according to the Internet

I was going to write a charming and quirky think piece about how everyone is jacking off every minute of the day, because we are living during the world’s first masturbation revolution, and during a quarantine no less, but then I realized this graphic tells the whole story which you and me and your friends and your family and your coworkers and your boss and Jeff Bezos already know. Which is the world is going thwackety-thwack-thack to cum the pain away, to paraphrase The Teaches of Peaches. Which. You know. There are worse ways to live your life than focusing on orgasms. Well. Maybe there aren’t any other better ways to live your life.

And thus climaxes this most obvious public service announcement.

Love me

Worst Cereal Taste Test Battle (Eating Peeps vs Jolly Rancher vs Kisses) ‪The only cereals left at my grocery store were Peeps 🤢 Jolly Rancher 🤢 and Hershey’s Kisses 🤢. I … More