Porn is the greatest invention that has ever happened in the history of the world, according to people who think that porn is the greatest invention in the history of the world.
That is a lot of people actually, because the bandwidth of the Internet is almost half taken up by porn.
So whenever you see statistics or stories about popular shows or movies or Netflix, what does not make the mainstream news is:
What are the popular videos and what are the popular categories in porn?
And that’s because the mainstream media — of which I have been a member for decades — has decided that they’re just not going to talk about porn, and there is a very basic reason for that.
I can tell you as someone who has worked at a lot of newspapers that the media reacts very strongly to a small number of very vocal people.
So if you were, like, the Family Council on Whatever, and you’re only one person running the entire Council out of your house, but you’re sending out press releases that look official, saying like, “Porn is bad,” then newspapers will fall for that, hook line and sinker, and they always have.
And so, if you really want to affect change in America, what you need to do is:
You need to go create an LLC, and then put together some press releases, and then send them to all the news outlets, and say you are some Organization For Whatever You Care About, and then just say:
“Our members care about this, this, and this. And you need to say THIS in your news media!”
And those news organizations will listen to those press releases.
And that’s how porn stays out of the mainstream news, despite taking up almost half of the Internet bandwidth.
So I also want to talk to you about:
The 5 Best Things About Porn.
I am assuming you love porn and that you watch porn, or that you have watched porn.
Some of you might have misgivings about porn, but I can’t talk to you specifically about that because I’m having a one-way conversation with you right now.
ONE
The number one best thing about porn is:
Porn is always pleasurable.
Now you’re probably laughing, going like:
“Well, that’s stupid. A lot of things are always pleasurable.”
No, they’re not!
Cars are not always pleasurable. Like, when you’re driving, you can get this overwhelming sense of stress and fear and anger, because you get Road Rage.
Or you could be the opposite, and you could be scared because of all the other people that have Road Rage.
Or maybe you don’t like being in the car because it takes up too much time.
Being in a car is not always pleasurable.
Being a foodie is not always pleasurable, because you can get indigestion, you can have diarrhea, you can get guilt about what you’ve eaten, and you can get worse diseases, you can have worse diabetes, you can have your life expectancy cut a little short because of the way that you’re eating.
So being a foodie is not always pleasurable.
Being into booze and drugs is not always pleasurable, because you have hangovers and you have DUIs and you have people beating their spouses and all this other stuff that people do when they’re on drugs and alcohol.
But you know what?
When you are watching porn and masturbating, the worst possible outcome for you is that you might feel guilty about the category that you watch, or you might feel like “Oh I wish I was with someone else,” or something like that.
It’s not a very big concern, compared to the ravages of too much drinking or too much drugs, or too much food, or driving too fast, or any number of other things.
Porn is always pleasurable, and very few things in this world are.
TWO
Porn is good for your body.
And let me tell you, there have been studies that have shown that men who have regular orgasms every day, they keep away prostate cancer, and they do other good things for your body. Having sex, even with yourself, activates your lungs and it activates your heart and it makes your blood move around, it helps with circulation, and mood, and all this other stuff.
And if you’re a woman, there have been studies that showed that women who have regular orgasms have somewhat less of an incidence of various cancers.
And I mean, REGULAR orgasms.
So the more orgasms you have as a woman, I’m pretty sure according to studies,. the better it is, not just for your lungs and circulation and all that, but also for everything inside you, down there.
THREE
Porn helps you learn who you are.
So, like, let’s say you have never watched any porn, and you are fantasizing about people, or you’re fantasizing about whatever you’re thinking about when you masturbate. You might have a very sort of generic sense of what you are thinking about.
But if you watch enough porn, and enough porn categories, you might find out that you have a foot fetish, or some other fetish.
Or you might find out that you don’t have any fetishes. You might find out that you are a very vanilla person.
But the thing is, is that like when you watch Netflix or Hulu, or anything else, and you are watching various shows or movies based on categories, you find out who you are — whether you like action adventure, or rom-coms, or reality shows, or police procedurals, or whatever it is.
So you find out who you are by what you watch, and that includes porn.
But with porn, you’re finding out about who you are sexually, and with your lust, and how you might behave with partners, and it will help you with your partners’ desires.
Now there has been a lot of talk about how porn is not where you should get your sex-ed, and I totally agree with that.
You should get your sex-ed from people, or from experience.
Like, honestly, you can read about sex and watch YouTubes or read books or something.
But it more so helps to discover sexuality with your partner, or partners, and ask and have conversations with them about what they want, and what they like, and what turns them on, and what turns you on.
To me, that’s the best kind of sex-ed.
Porn is not supposed to be sex-ed, I will say that.
But the good thing is, it does let you see a lot of different things in the world, and it helps you find out who you are.
FOUR
Porn helps you be less lonely.
And that’s a big deal, because there are a lot of people who don’t date, so you can feel less lonely when you masterbate to porn, and you can get some sort of fulfillment from that.
Or if you’re in between partners, you can feel less lonely.
FIVE
Professional Masturbator is a viable and safe career choice at this point.
So I have talked to a lot of people in porn, and quite a few of them were strippers, and then they started doing camming, and then they have stripped less, and then they don’t do as much sex work with people.
So they can just masturbate at home and make six figures, or five figures. Some of them make seven figures!
And then if they want, they can go:
“Now I don’t have to go someplace and do sex work face-to-face.”
So masturbating professionally is a viable, safe career option at this point.
I love you very much.
I hope that you are practicing safe masturbation.
dougable 