Is my behavior getting me what I want in these categories?

So I filled out this workbook exercise by some controversial brain doctor named Daniel Amen.
I don’t know what his controversy is, (I hope he isn’t a fuckface or something), and I think this is a good overall question he poses:
Is my behavior getting me what I want in six categories?
Here’s how I filled this out to manifest my destiny with actions and not just words.
I want to have multiple relationships with multiple people, and I want to have some form of sexual openness with all of them, even if it’s just talking about sex and masturbation.
I am a polyamorous pansexual. The people in my life need to not just tolerate my sexuality or snicker about it behind my back.
They need to be enthusiastic about who I am, just as I am enthusiastic about who they are.
I want my relationships to be with good people with good morals — people who are not lying, conniving, secretive, nitpicking, cynical, ballbusting, narcissistic, criminal, nefarious, manipulative, weak-willed, boring, shitbag asshole hypocritically prudish fuckfaces who have no empathy.
I don’t want them to be people from my profession.
I don’t want people who have sticks up their asses, I don’t want people who aren’t sexually exciting, and I don’t want people who are scared of the genitals and holes on their bodies.
I want people who live outloud like I do. I want people who don’t call me weird just because I like sexuality, which is objectively or arguably the single greatest thing that exists!
I want the people in my life to be supportive and nice and never mean to me, and I want them to reply to my messages, and I want them to reach out to me first, and I want them to be eager to talk to me, just like I am eager to talk to them.
I am not looking for followers like some cult leader. I don’t want frenemies or secret enemies.
I want people who complete me and don’t compete with me.
I want sympotico human beings who have similar desires as me and are open-minded sexually like me and who are not punishing fuckknobs.
Many people’s main goal in life is to appear clever by cracking jokes at the expense of the friends and lovers they claim to like, even though their jokes are rarely funny, because they aren’t professional improv people and they are god-awful at delivering jokes.
This relationship category is the category I am currently working on the most. I’ve lost most of my friends (and a lot of my lovers) to them moving out of the state, or to parenthood, or to alcoholism, or to them being shitbags.
I did have a bunch of other friends in my work field, but I’ve fallen away from them because we don’t share the same values, desires, morals, alcoholism, (I’m not an alcoholic or a drunk), bar tastes, movie tastes, TV tastes, music tastes, relationship mores, kindness, sweetness, or cynicism.
I’m an optimistic ex-cynic, and many people haven’t worked it out yet that they can be a happy person just like me and not an unhappy flagrantly bitter pill.
It’s so weird that I used to hang around certain people even though our personalities were diametrically opposed. I could never wrap my head around why most outings with some of these friends and lovers left me feeling icky and sad. And it’s because we are not alike and we have scant in common.
Here I am, a cheerleader essentially, and I’m interested in bettering myself and the world and my loved ones by enthusiastically enjoying goodness and laughs and sexuality and … a lot of other people in this world just live constrained little snippy lives, in my opinion.
I am now in the process of finding my people. New people. Finding my community of sexual and uplifting cheerleader types who want to spend most of our time naked in pleasure, passion, and playfulness with consenting adults. And we don’t sex-shame each other for any reason whatsoever.
Where do I find these people? I’m on dating and lifestyle apps, and I’m going to places where pansexual and sexual people hang out. But I’m still in the early stages of this journey. I’ve considered dating sex workers, or even becoming an escort, myself.
I vow to myself to have my people and my community in order within the next few months. My actions and behaviors are pointing me in the right direction.
I want my work to be centered around those things that I like in my personal life, like sex and silliness and smiling and fun and funniness and my extroverted animated self.
I don’t see any reason to focus my work on anything other than what brings me passion, pleasure, and playfulness. I’m working on my Dougable and Sex Dork medias, so my actions and behaviors are slowly ramping up toward getting me what I want.
I want either just enough money to keep my health insurance costs low, but enough money that I can pay my bills and not go broke — or I want to make so many millions of dollars that I don’t need to worry about health insurance costs.
I’m not making some political statement about how America needs to make health insurance illegal and create a free national health care system.
I’m saying what you all know, that on a personal level, most of us have to make financial decisions and career choices based on whether we’re going to get a bill for $200,000 if we go to the emergency room for some stupid reason someday, because we have the worst possible financial scam rammed inside our health care industry.
I want to be the healthiest person who has ever lived, and I want to live to 220 years old so that by then someone can stick my consciousness and happiness in some artificial intelligence joy thing.
So I will continue my daily regimen of weight-band lifting, power yoga, and running or jogging.
I’ll keep eating at or under 2,000 calories of vegetarian and vegan food each day, which means keeping track of calories all day.
I’ll keep eating veggies and fruits, and no gluten (except when I’m at a restaurant or friend’s dinner).
And I’ll keep avoiding restaurants as much as possible, since any one restaurant meal often contains a full day’s calories and salt.
I want to be the most emotionally stable and emotionally happy person who will ever live, and I want to always be smiling and laughing and making myself feel good, and prohibiting people from entering my life if they are not interested in this goal or a complementary goal for themselves and for the people in their lives.
This is the goal that plays peekaboo the most. I’d say about 85 percent of the time, my actions and behaviors keep me happy or contented or even ecstatic.
But about 15 percent of the time, I get lost in daydreams and contemplations, which are not helpful to my emotional health.
I need to stop overthinking. My therapist says this. My best friends say this. I say this.
I want to be connected to God and the universe and existence and everything, and I feel like I am good at doing this (with my actions and behaviors and thoughts and words) all the time already, since this is the thing I am best at, other than maintaining my physical health.
Honestly, spiritual stuff is the thing that never fails me, which is that I absolutely feel connected to all things and that all things are connected to me (since I’m basically a scientific Unitarian pantheist/panentheist).
I could be wrong but I feel like I radiate joy and love and self-love and other-love, and I do not radiate negativity (except when I was writing about my relationship challenges above haha), and I manifest all of the gorgeous sumptuous beauty of life and humanity and animals and all life forms and all non-life forms and all everything.
I may look like Ernest Hemingway but I’m a good hippie devoted to peace, love, and sex.
I’m definitely the most grateful person I know. And more than that, I consider myself a lucky person to have lived such an incredible life so far, with few or no regrets, and despite ditching a bunch of friends and lovers recently, I still have literally hundreds of friends and acquaintances, plus new lovers and people who will be lovers soon.
I’m doing my best.
I’m hopeful.
I’m less lazy about these categories than before.
My New Year’s resolution was to take charge of my life and make hard decisions that actively get me what I want out of life, and stop allowing the wrong kinds of lovers and friends into my life to steer me to the wrong places in my heart and head.

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