Sharks! (Vegas Aquarium!!)

Fucking shark!

Oh my god, the fucking head on that thing!

And the tail and teeth!

And man, did you know that sharks have big mouths with giant teeth and they just go around eating, and living for hundreds of years, and swimming over people’s heads in giant tanks in Las Vegas?!

And they just swim around, and they look like this, and they just don’t even eat the turtles and the fish, they just kind of swim around, and they come right at people and they scare them (and then you look red) and then, you know, they’re everywhere, these sharks, they’re majestic!

Oh my God, the majestic sharks are so insane and they’re coming to get you, they’re just gonna swim right at you!

Look at that shark, looking right at these people, going, “Oh I’m gonna eat you, nom nom nom, nom rah rahhh!”

Yes, oh my God, if that’s not bad enough, check out these fucking piranha!

Piranha says, “gimme your fingers!”

I mean, God, ugh!

Let’s get into the jellyfish, oh my God, don’t let the jellyfish sting you, these things’ll kill you, oh they are so … oh my God look at these crazy jelly …

And people!: People are the worst of all, they’ll kill you!

And stingrays are very nice, they let you touch them!

And I don’t know what these things are, if they’re dangerous or not, but they’re pretty cute, you know, wouldn’t mind having one in my house, petting it every now and then — if they don’t get eaten by these sharks!

But look at that shark head, imagine having a head like that, and swimming around like a little fish!

I’m gonna take a picture!


That’s me!

(Ad: But stuff from my Amazon storefront:

(Give me your money Part 1:

(Give me your money Part 2:

Shark Conservation Groups

Despite my silly tone in this shark piece, please know I am like most people in loving sharks!

Please consider getting involved in saving sharks around the world.

If not for the sharks, do it for you! If sharks die off, that will kill the ecosystem which could damage the oceans, which could irreparably harm humans like you and your loved ones.

Please save the sharks! They are our friends!!


Film location: Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas.

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