Twitter: America’s 24/7 prison riot

Instagram: Where I look pretty

XVideos: The greatest thing that ever happens

Snapchat: Photo filters for photos no one ever sees

TikTok: Lipsync someone else’s joke to the same song they used when they stole the joke from someone else

YouTube: Incredible or boring videos made by nice people who seem just a little bit nervous

Facebook: Like a beautiful daily yearbook of our lives (if you block Trumpers) or a cesspool of scum and villainy (if you don’t)

Pinterest: Purses and dresses

Reddit: Like a weird dog’s dick 

Whatsapp: For people with lovers in Germany 

(User experience differs per person)

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